Embarking on your Faith Journey

Have any of you ever read a really great book or watched a really great movie or heard a really great story? Now, what did that book, movie or story have that was so great about it? Maybe it had to do with some mythical place, or an incredibly interesting main character. Perhaps you were able to identify with it in some way. Something about that story drew you in. And I can tell you, that each of these stories has something very simple in common. They all have some sort of journey that you as the reader, watcher, or listener follow. It may be a journey to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, to Hogwarts, Middle Earth, Narnia, Metropolis or Gotham. It might be a journey of self-discovery, or one where the main character saves the world. We are drawn into this story. We are drawn into the mystery.

I have this map up here. It belongs to my Dad, and it had a prominent place in my home for most of my life. It’s a hand drawn map of Middle Earth, the world that J.R.R. Tolkien created for his famous trilogy, The Lord of the Rings. I grew up staring at it, memorizing the landmarks and physical obstacles along the way from the Shire to Mount Doom in Mordor. This is one of the stories that I was enamored with as a child. I loved the idea of the adventures that took place in Middle Earth. I wanted to meet characters like Bilbo and Gandalf, and I wanted to be a strong heroin just like Arwen.

Now, what if I told you that our faith can be just like one of these journeys.

Just like the ones that we see in our favorite books, movies, or stories.

 You might be thinking I’m a little crazy at this point. But, one of my favorite saints, St. John Paul II is quoted in saying, “Life with Christ is a Wonderful Adventure”.

There is a moment in every story where the main character is posed with a question. Usually that question is whether or not to take on an adventure. Whether they’re off to destroy a ring, find a horcrux, or save the city from eternal doom, there is a moment when the main character consciously makes the choice to do the right thing. And often enough, we learn that the main character was destined to take part in that journey.

So are we.

This painting is one of my favorites. It’s called “The Calling of St. Matthew” and it was painted by a guy named Caravaggio in 1600. Here we can see a ray of light making its way to Matthew, while Christ is pointing at him. The story of this painting actually comes from a story in the Gospel. The Gospel of Matthew tells us:

 “As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew- sitting at the customs post. He said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed him. While he was at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat with Jesus and his disciples. The Pharisees saw this and said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” He heard this and said, “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. Go and learn the meaning of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.” – Matthew 9:9-13

We all have this moment. There is a moment where we are asked to join Christ on a journey. We are asked to accompany him on an adventure that we were made for.

My faith journey started out like many others. It was quiet. I grew up on Long Island, went to public school, lived with my Grandma, Mom & Dad, big sister Julie, and went to Mass on Sundays. I played with neighbors as a kid, and loved to draw and write stories. For me, this moment of encounter didn’t happen as a child, at my baptism, first communion, or confirmation, but rather, it happened on a retreat, kind of like the one you’re on right now. I had had a couple of really rough years in high school. I was anxious, depressed, I had lost friends, and a boyfriend who I was too dependent on, and my Dad had moved out and my parents divorced. I was a senior in High School. I wasn’t living a life for Christ, even though I had gone to Church, to youth group, and volunteered my time to the poor and to the younger children at my parish. I was living day to day, trying to fake a smile, and act as though everything was okay. I knew that I wasn’t though. I knew that I was loved, but couldn’t grasp what that meant, or how it could affect my life.

And so I went on this retreat. I didn’t particularly like going to youth group anymore, but out of habit, I went on the Spring Retreat. Ironically, or not so ironically, the theme of the retreat was “I will Follow” and we had to sing this awful song and do silly hand movements to it. However, I knew that being a scutch and remaining closed off was not going to be fun for anyone. So, I tried to be open and listen to all of the presentations and participate in the prayer services. Friday night we handed whatever was burdening us over to God by tossing a rock into the Long Island Sound. We were asked to quiet ourselves, and to think of what was burdening us. There were thousands of pebbles on the beach. We each picked up two rocks. One represented our burdens, and one represented a promise. We each threw our burden into the Sound, and held on tight to our promise. I began to open up then. But the true turning point for me was on Saturday night. I sat in adoration of the Eucharist, which is when the Eucharist is exposed in a gold stand called a monstrance for a prolonged period of time. I desired mercy; just like St. Matthew. I had experienced God’s loving grace in the sacrament of confession. And as I sat, for the first time feeling peace in front of the Eucharist, I cried, and felt a whisper in my heart to come, and follow Him.  I felt an overwhelming sense in my heart that I was loved. Truly Loved.

In that moment, just like St. Matthew, I got up, and followed Him.

I was drawn into the mystery.

I found Joy on that retreat. For the first time in a long time, I found joy in doing simple everyday things. I even found Joy in getting stuck in the mud of a small Long Island Harbor, after running after my friends onto what looked like solid ground. In case you were wondering, I did ruin my flip flops that day. I had no idea what this journey would entail or what my destination would be. To be completely honest with you, I still don’t know what the destination is. I can tell you, that since I decided to get up and follow Him, my life has truly been an adventure. I’ve gone places, done things, and encountered people that I wouldn’t have even thought possible in High School. But, I had to take that first step and climb that very high mountain. I had to leave my comfortable life behind, and like Frodo and Sam in The Lord of the Rings, I left the Shire.

I started to take my volunteer work seriously. I was a volunteer with the Middle School Youth Group at my Parish. I played silly games along the way with middle schoolers and enjoyed it. I even let a 12 year old do my hair with shaving cream for the “Edge Kids Take Over”. It took a few showers to get it all out.

I went on trips to places I had only dreamed about before. I walked the streets of Dublin and Paris with my Mom and sister.

I took in the beauty of one of the world’s oldest book of Gospels, The Book of Kells, in Dublin, and I stood in awe of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. I went on pilgrimage to Madrid, Spain for World Youth Day 2011. I walked along the same cobblestone streets as St. Teresa and St. John of the Cross. I sat in the same churches as a Doctor of the Church. As a group, we went to Mass with various English-Speaking Cardinals, and eventually with Pope Benedict XVI.

We stood and humbly waited in the rain, which was described as a hurricane over the announcer. There was obviously a mistranslation there. And we waited for the Pope to arrive. We met young Catholics from all over the world: Colombia, France, Iraq, Australia, Nigeria, and Malaysia. I found I had a friend in Jesus’s mother after I realized that each church I went into had the image that my Parish is named after, Our Lady of Perpetual Help. This still happens by the way.

In college, I continued to follow Him along a path that I couldn’t quite see, and had some incredible experiences. I trudged through Washington DC in 10 degree weather as a witness to the beauty that Human Life is at the March for Life.

 I studied in Galway, Ireland, after working up the courage to follow the desires of my heart and change my major from something that would secure me a job after graduation, to something that I truly loved: English Literature and Irish Studies.

 I sat in the middle of a country road in a town where there were more sheep than people, and appreciated the beauty of creation with a sunrise at 4am with some of my wonderful classmates.

 I took a bus and visited relatives that I had never met and shared in faith and tea and ice cream with them. We drove all over my Grandfathers hometown.  I felt a little silly standing with that tomb stone in the rain, but I knew that these were the family members that gave me my Catholic faith, this was the church where my grandparents and great grandparents worshipped a God who is Love, and so I complied and smiled as a cousin I barely knew took my picture.

I walked across the Peace Bridge in a city where violence was the norm for so long. I shared in the hurt that my cousins felt from the past, but also listened to their hope for their city and for their home. I quite literally crossed the River Foyle with them and was present as they shared their story and their heart with me.

I traveled in a minivan, and my campus minister was pulled over by cop in West Virginia for going 83 mph, to a place that I had never been. There were mountains there. I served the poor of Appalachia in Beauty, KY with some of the most kind-hearted, loving people I know.

The Lord helped me break out of my comfort zone by working with power tools and to truly be present with the people of Beauty. I was reminded by a cook that I met from Georgia, just how beautiful my soul was, and how she could see it in my eyes. I spoke of my love for Mother Teresa and the Catholic Faith with a nurse from the next town after she confided in me just how beautiful she found the Catholic Church, even though she was a Baptist. She met me with love, not judgment, just as Jesus had.

I built a deck and a ramp that week along with 8 of my classmates and mentors. That is something I would have never thought I could do, much less that I would want to. My Dad still doesn’t quite believe it.  Even in the mud that week, I found Joy.

More recently, Jesus asked me to climb an even higher mountain. He asked me to serve in a way that I had never thought before. He asked me to move away from home to a place called Garrison, and to run retreats where students could encounter Him. I laughed, but after much prayer and a leap of faith, I went. And I could not be happier. Those words that JPII spoke are true, “Life with Christ is a wonderful adventure.”

Will you get up and follow him?

This presentation was given on the Sophomore Retreat: Faith Journey through CYFM. 

Life Lately (in pictures)

The past few weeks have been pretty busy, but here are some pictures from the CYFM camera, and from my iphone. These pictures are mostly from Saints for Youth, our Young Adult Retreat, and Youth Group.

My Saint for the Saints for Youth Retreat was St. Maria Goretti

Amanda had Padre Pio and Fr. Tomas had St. Leopold (they’re both in the Vatican now!)

I’m not the best with skits, so I was grateful to have a veteran CCV visit my group.

Young Adults!

Leaving room for the Holy Spirit

Finding Therese’s roses all around CYFM

Fr. Fred loves Therese!

Last but not least, Youth Group.

Such fun. It’s been a good few weeks.

My Sisters the Saints, by Colleen Carroll Campbell

1. My Sisters the Saints by Colleen Carroll Campbell (to finish this book)
2. Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell (to finish this book)
3. Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge
4. Wife Mother & Mystic: Blessed Anna-Maria Taigi by Fr. Albert Bessieres
5. Therese, Faustina, and Bernadette: Three saints who challenged my faith, gave me hope, and taught me how to love by Elizabeth Ficocelli
6. Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila
7. St. Francis of Assisi by G.K. Chesterton
8. Rediscover Jesus by Matthew Kelly
9. Jesus a Pilgrimage by James Martin (to finish this book)

We’re almost two months into 2016 and I have finally finished a book. My friend Britt gave me this book to read back in August when I moved to Beacon. So, it sat on my shelf as I adjusted to life as a full time volunteer. I barely read anything from August to December, which is pretty unlike me. That’s part of the reason why I wanted to incorporate more reading into my prayer life this year. I decided to start with this book because it was lent to me by a friend, and it is a spiritual memoir. So, it would be interesting (I hoped) and still fulfill the requirement of spiritual reading.

I started to read this book during the College Capuchin Outreach Program (College COP) in early January, where I had a few college students comment on how much they loved this book. So I started it before bed, and had a hard time putting it down. Campbell’s memoir was relatable to women in college, and beyond. Her spiritual journey starts as a little girl, but as a teenager she strays away. In college, she picks up a copy of St. Teresa of Avila’s autobiography, and her life is transformed. (Don’t worry I’m not giving anything away, this is all on the back cover!) She writes of her father, and her profound respect for him and his faith, especially as his health declines later on in the book.

She writes of her prayer life, her journey with these incredible women saints (Teresa of Avila, Therese of Lisieux, Faustina, Edith Stein, Teresa of Calcutta, and Mary), and her career. I think that many Catholic women can relate to Campbell’s journey and discernment to place her career or her internal desires first. She is a talented writer, which is displayed throughout this text, but also through her career as a correspondent and speech writer for the White House.

I found the text enjoyable to read, but also spiritually deep and enlightening. One of my favorite parts about this text was the intertwining of the lives of the Saints with the different stages of Colleen’s life. For me, it was reminder of the incredible lives of these women saints, whom I have journeyed with before. Although I have read about all of these women before, this memoir inspired me to learn more about Edith Stein and Faustina. This summer, I’m making a pilgrimage to Krakow, Poland for World Youth Day. Both of these women will come up in my journey. I will be visiting the Convent where St. Faustina lived and received her visions. I will also be visiting Auschwitz, where Edith Stein and many others were martyred. Faustina has inspired me to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet more and Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) has inspired me to read more of her texts on women. I knew that Stein was a philosopher, but I had no idea what she had written or how it could be interesting to me.

I finished this book last week while on retreat in Esopus, NY. I was so pleased to have finally finished a book on my list! But, a spiritual companion, or Saintly Stalker as I sometimes call her, showed up at the end of the book. In the chapter on Mary, Campbell writes about her wedding, and how she and her husband knelt before an icon of none other than Our Lady of Perpetual Help. I wanted to laugh and show the paragraph to my community, but I was in a chapel where the Eucharist was exposed, so I kept it to myself until we retired to the living room. They laughed too.

I’m happy that I chose to read this book first. I now realize why my friend lent it to me, and why so many others have raved about it. (It even came up in a podcast that I was listening to yesterday!) For my next journey in the world of reading, I will be diving into Matthew Kelley’s Rediscover Jesus. Although it isn’t specifically for Lent, it can be used for this season, and is purple. So it works. I read Rediscover Catholicism this past summer and I really enjoyed it, but also found it as good preparation for this year of service. I also hope to read a bit of James Martin’s Jesus A Pilgrimage during breaks from Kelley’s book. I have been “reading” this book since it was published, but I usually only read  one chapter at a time, with months in between. But it works for me.

Saint of the Year: 2016

Hello dear friends,

I hope that you enjoyed Christmas and the New Year. I sure have. I don’t think I have ever slept so much. For the past few years, I have used the Saint Name Generator to choose a Saint to pray with for the year. I have found it to be pretty cool.

Bl. Anna Maria Taigi

In 2014 I received St. Catherine of Bologna. She was the patron of artists, the arts, liberal arts, and against temptations. Looking back, this was a time when I was really struggling with what I was going to do with my liberal arts degree. I was an english major who really hadn’t thought out the next step. By the end of 2014, I was in contact with America Magazine and was working on an article to be published by them.

In 2015, I received St. Leonard de Port Maurice. St. Leonard was a Franciscan priest in Italy. He is the patron of Parish Missions and was known for his retreats and his writing. I was very confused by this. I had felt a call to move away from Parish work. Little did I know, that I would be working at a Franciscan Retreat Center that serves the Parishes of the Province.

For 2016, I received Bl. Anna Maria Taigi. She is most well known for being a wife, mother, and a mystic. I ordered a book about her from Amazon yesterday, I’m excited to read a little bit more about this Saint!

Saint of the Year 2015!

How is your New Year going? We’re 3 days in, and its finally time for me to pick a Saint to pray with this year.

Last year I had St. Catherine of Bologna, the patron of Artists. Her intercession was definitely helpful within my decision making for the year. This year, I was given, St. Leonard of Port Maurice. He is named the patron of Parish Missions. I wasn’t too impressed with this. I felt confused. I have felt like maybe, just maybe, I may be moving away from my Parish within the next few years, or at least taking a (big) step back.

It felt like a mixed message, but then I actually read about this man. He was a Franciscan. He was asked to go all around different Parishes to give retreats, and to hear confessions. He was also an ascetic writer. Interesting, because I’ve been really into Thomas Merton lately, and I also happen to LOVE the Franciscans. I’ll be looking more into St. Leonard, and I guess I’ll have to look into his work.

You can find your own Saint to pray with here. I think it’s a lot of fun, and it’s usually a Saint that you wouldn’t be familiar with. So there’s room to learn about our Faith tradition in a new way. Do you pick a Saint to pray with each year?